We spend so much time trying to figure out the "Why" of life we often forget the "How". How does life work? In my humble opinion, it works like this... a person chooses one course of action from a set of options; that choice results in a new set of options; a new choice is made; another set of options now become available, and so on...

But this isn't a linear process. It's more like a spider web because our choices impact others and present them with new options as well. And their response in turn affects us.

A perfect example is throwing a party: I have many options for how I can spend my Saturday night. I choose to throw a party. Now I have to figure out who to invite, what to serve, etc. I make my choices and send out announcements. My friends can now choose to attend or decline. I then have to choose to follow up and ask why they declined or to ask them to reconsider. They have the option to change their mind or stay with their original answer....

Notice that there is nothing in there about emotions. It's very practical. I don't make them wrong for not coming. They don't make me wrong for having the party on a night when they had previous engagements. It's simply a matter of logistics, cause and effect.

We have to surrender our desire for the "perfect scenario" when everyone's schedule magically aligns, catering provides everyone's favorite dish, and the DJ plays all the right songs. The "perfect scenario" was never an option in my list of choices. It was never an option in my friend's list of responses to my invitation. Yet we all have a tendency to think it's available and that somehow, someone was negligent in not making it happen. That's when we start blaming and criticising each other.

I say let all those extra, mythical options go. Figure out what your real choices are, select one, and get on with the process of cause and effect we call life. And, NO, I'm NOT choosing to have a party. It was just an example.